Gardening

Hello all my awesome supporters, friends, and family,

I hope you are doing well!! I feel like I have been very bad at updating my blog lately, which I won’t use excuses for… I will however, promise to be better at updating all of you on a more regular basis.

Over the last few weeks, I have added to my daily duties that of gardener, which seems very fitting as my German friends like to point out, my last name means: Tree Gardener. I guess it must be in the genetics or something, but lately I have been helping Wes, the man who is head of Greenhaven Charity, plant little onions, corn, and potatoes in the garden on the Farm. It is a rather small plot of earth, but for the eight of us living on the farm, it will provide some additional food over the winter months, and for this city girl, it is an opportunity to embrace living on a farm and learning how to do all those things that farmers do. I am trying to embrace farm life, but I’m not sure if I enjoy all the weeding and digging. I’m hoping that as I watch the plants grow, it will make all the hours of toil and sweat worth it.

In addition to planting the vegetable garden, I have had the opportunity to plant the flower garden as well. We have beautiful peonies and dahlias coming up, which seem (at least right now) to be far more rewarding than planting the vegetable garden (and I have to admit, I am sick of looking at potatoes after planting nearly 20 rows of them!). I also got the chance to plant 30 cedars the other day (thankfully, I didn’t have to dig 30 holes, Wes went ahead of me digging as I planted all the little trees). Sometimes, I think God must just laugh at us because I remember a year ago telling someone that I would NEVER garden… little did I know that God would change everything, and He really has. Sometimes, I think the only thing that gets me out of bed in the early morning to weed is the realization that planting seeds (or bulbs) is a lot like life. God plants a seed in someone’s heart or mind, and it just grows from there. We may not see the seed that was planted or even know that it is there, but God knows, and He waters and tends that little seed until the time is right, and a little plant pops out. Sometimes, I know that I’ve planted something in the ground, and I look at the black clay like soil and wonder if anything will ever happen, then one day, almost over night, a little plant just blossoms and peaks its head out as though it is afraid of this big world above the ground.

I guess, I see a lot of similarities between my work in the garden and the work that we do here on the farm (and so many do in their own daily lives). We plant seeds (sometimes unknowingly), and we carefully love and tend the ground in which we have planted. Then, we continue to care for this little patch of earth or even person, until one day, something happens, completely out of our control, but completely within the plan of our Maker. I think the one thing that I have been learning on the Farm, especially with the guests is that all I can do is be myself, remain compassionate for others, know that God is doing all the work, and know that God is working through me, even when I am grumpy, or sad, or happy or however I am feeling that day. God has never looked at a piece of earth or a person as useless, and I think we can all look back on our own lives to give credit to that statement. So, like a seed, I will carefully and kindly love the people who surround me, and know that it is God who is doing all the work.

Keep You Here with Me

Okay, I’m going to have you listen to another song…. 

I guess thinking more about this song… I don’t think it is really about us, but rather, I feel like this is what God sings to us. He longs for us to spend every waking moment with Him, but He is just so excited for who we are, that He just wants to keep us with Him regardless of what we are doing. He just wants to spend time with us. And I feel like He is working out different little ways to keep us with Him. I think He tells us this in a million ways everyday. His joy at our figuring ourselves and Him out. His excitement when we are growing and learning, and His willingness to love us regardless of where we are at. He loves the good and the bad, and I think it is a beautiful thing to realize just how excited He is just to spend time with us. I don’t know if I can say it enough because I sometimes struggle with truly, on the inside, deep in the core of my heart to know 100% God’s love for me and His joy with who He created me to be. Some days are better than others, actually weeks can go by where I don’t even question God’s love, then almost as if a switch is pulled, I start questioning it again. Maybe I’m strange, but I have always struggled with how God, who is perfect, all knowing, 100% aware of everything that I am and everything that I am not can love me. (I don’t usually question His love for others). I know that He died for me and you, but in the past, I have always worked for love. I have always taken it upon myself to work for and earn love. Therefore, the idea that Someone who knows everything about me could love me for absolutely no reason other than because He can and wants to is at times a hard concept for me to grasp. We worker bee types don’t just settle for something that is handed to us, we work for it, earn it, achieve it… and let me tell you we can achieve a lot, but we can’t “achieve” God’s love for us. He gives it freely, and while I accept that for everyone else, I often have a hard time accepting it for myself, but this song is just a little reminder for me of the fact that He wants to keep me here with Him. That just brings a smile to my face. :)

I’ve been back in Canada for about 2 weeks… maybe a little less right now. The first week I spent in Montreal at a YWAM conference with the director of YWAM I.Net and my base leader. The conference left a little to be wanting, but I enjoyed Montreal and the riots! If you haven’t heard about the Montreal riots, they were fun to watch from our hotel room balcony! It was truly memorable, and I don’t know if it is a good thing or a bad thing that all three of us were so excited about them, though our balcony was 7 floors up, far out of the reach of the fire crackers and all of that. I literally just got back onto the farm, and I feel like it has taken me a few days to get back into the swing of things. However, I’m finding that a few things have changed since I’ve been gone, and I don’t necessarily like it. (I feel like God is also asking me to learn how to let go of certain things, and I’m not sure I like that either!) It is always a good reminder that God isn’t finished with me yet. 

Overall, I’m glad that I went back to Minnesota. Seriously, it is nice to have more than 5 shirts and 2 pairs of jeans! Options are a great thing! Like I said in the previous post, there were some great things that happened and some things that I learned that I am still processing through, and that is okay, though I can’t say I’ve even started. That unpacking will happen eventually, I can guarantee. Still, I just want to send a brief thank you to all of you who I spent time with and a promise to those I didn’t get a chance to see that I will see you next time! Sorry that we didn’t get a chance to see each other! Thanks again!