Revolutionaries... of Love?

12.3 million people around the world are trapped in forced labour (ILO). 


24,000 children died today due to poverty. 


72 million children of primary school age were not in school in 2005 (globalissues.org).

What does this mean?

To you. To me.

I live in relative comfort. I have a bed, a roof over my head, and food to eat. I have received an education that has allowed me to learn to read, write, and think.

And I'm assuming that most of you can relate. Most of my family and friends live in first world nations, and receive the benefits of living there. We complain about health care, taxes, and the fact that our politicians seem to never get anything done, but really, we have so much. 

Have you ever watched a family member die of a curable disease? Have you ever thought about selling your child to put food on the table? Or worse to give them a better future? If you have, I'm sorry, but to most, these thoughts seem abhorrent. The reality is, the need to survive often causes us to ask questions that bridge on insanity, immorality, and desperation.

Poverty causes hopelessness. Poverty creates crisis among the most vulnerable.

What does this mean?

Poverty in a first world nation means soup kitchens and shelters... but consider a place where none of those exist.  No one cares that people on the street are starving. No one sees the swollen bellies of young children as a miserable plight. No one cares that your child will suffer from a lack of education. No. One. Cares.

Consider a world far from your own. Consider the places you have never seen. Dare to see the world through the eyes of the hurting.

Shane Claiborne, author and ordinary radical, believes that the most dangerous place to live is in suburbia. And I'm beginning to believe him. He says, "We must neither get used to the darkness of human suffering or fall asleep in the comfort of the light" (The Irresistible Revolution). There is a balance.

As I am currently living in a very comfortable situation, I have found it is easy to forget that there are people suffering in this world. The men and women I encountered in Japan and Thailand, easily forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind.

Is this really how God wants us to live? Forgetting the most vulnerable in the midst of our lives? Dismissing those who could use our help? This is not an accusation, rather a question to consider, myself included. We get caught up in our lives... that must break God's heart. I don't believe that Jesus ever promised His disciples ease, comfort, or safety. Instead, Jesus said, this world will hate you because of me.

Does the world hate us? If not, are we doing our job?

Okay, I know what you're thinking, the world does NOT like Christians. True, the world may strongly dislike Christians, but is it really because of Jesus? Or is it because we are a poor representation of Him? Do they really dislike someone who came to love generously and pour compassion on every hurting person He came across? Or do they dislike the Christians they bump into along the way?

To be perfectly honest, people telling me, "Jesus loves you," doesn't do much for me. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe that Jesus loves everyone, and that God created everyone equally, but telling someone that Jesus loves them doesn't mean anything when it isn't shown. Jesus rarely ever told anyone He came across that He loved them. He showed them His love. He never told them He would save them, He showed them the Father. He showed them how to love one another.

Jesus revolutionized this world through His love. And in a way, I think that is what He wants us to do too. I believe that God wants us to reflect and demonstrate His love for the world that He created. The people that He created. If that means I show love to people in a third world country, awesome. If that means that I show love to my next door neighbor, or roommate, that is awesome too.

The problem lies in the fact that loving people isn't safe, so most of us shy away from showing love to the people who might reject us. That is natural, because showing love isn't easy. Opening ourselves up to loving people often requires us to become vulnerable... and I hate vulnerability. It's scary, it leaves me open to getting hurt. However, if you think about it, isn't that what God did when He chose to love us? He opened Himself up to getting hurt, to being rejected. And let's face it, being rejected stinks, even if you are an all-powerful, supernatural being.

So what do we do? Do we take the risk of getting hurt and love people? Or do we act like none of this ever happened and go on with our lives? I can tell you which one is easier, but I can also tell you which one will transform your life.

Daily, I struggle with knowing how to love people the way that God loves them, seeing them through His eyes rather than mine. I screw up regularly, but I've been on the other side. I've seen others love me because Christ loved me first; they loved me when I didn't deserve it. They showed me Christ's love. So, maybe being a revolutionary of God's love isn't such a bad idea... you might just open the door to God changing their life and He will change yours in the process.

Gardening

Hello all my awesome supporters, friends, and family,

I hope you are doing well!! I feel like I have been very bad at updating my blog lately, which I won’t use excuses for… I will however, promise to be better at updating all of you on a more regular basis.

Over the last few weeks, I have added to my daily duties that of gardener, which seems very fitting as my German friends like to point out, my last name means: Tree Gardener. I guess it must be in the genetics or something, but lately I have been helping Wes, the man who is head of Greenhaven Charity, plant little onions, corn, and potatoes in the garden on the Farm. It is a rather small plot of earth, but for the eight of us living on the farm, it will provide some additional food over the winter months, and for this city girl, it is an opportunity to embrace living on a farm and learning how to do all those things that farmers do. I am trying to embrace farm life, but I’m not sure if I enjoy all the weeding and digging. I’m hoping that as I watch the plants grow, it will make all the hours of toil and sweat worth it.

In addition to planting the vegetable garden, I have had the opportunity to plant the flower garden as well. We have beautiful peonies and dahlias coming up, which seem (at least right now) to be far more rewarding than planting the vegetable garden (and I have to admit, I am sick of looking at potatoes after planting nearly 20 rows of them!). I also got the chance to plant 30 cedars the other day (thankfully, I didn’t have to dig 30 holes, Wes went ahead of me digging as I planted all the little trees). Sometimes, I think God must just laugh at us because I remember a year ago telling someone that I would NEVER garden… little did I know that God would change everything, and He really has. Sometimes, I think the only thing that gets me out of bed in the early morning to weed is the realization that planting seeds (or bulbs) is a lot like life. God plants a seed in someone’s heart or mind, and it just grows from there. We may not see the seed that was planted or even know that it is there, but God knows, and He waters and tends that little seed until the time is right, and a little plant pops out. Sometimes, I know that I’ve planted something in the ground, and I look at the black clay like soil and wonder if anything will ever happen, then one day, almost over night, a little plant just blossoms and peaks its head out as though it is afraid of this big world above the ground.

I guess, I see a lot of similarities between my work in the garden and the work that we do here on the farm (and so many do in their own daily lives). We plant seeds (sometimes unknowingly), and we carefully love and tend the ground in which we have planted. Then, we continue to care for this little patch of earth or even person, until one day, something happens, completely out of our control, but completely within the plan of our Maker. I think the one thing that I have been learning on the Farm, especially with the guests is that all I can do is be myself, remain compassionate for others, know that God is doing all the work, and know that God is working through me, even when I am grumpy, or sad, or happy or however I am feeling that day. God has never looked at a piece of earth or a person as useless, and I think we can all look back on our own lives to give credit to that statement. So, like a seed, I will carefully and kindly love the people who surround me, and know that it is God who is doing all the work.

Keep You Here with Me

Okay, I’m going to have you listen to another song…. 

I guess thinking more about this song… I don’t think it is really about us, but rather, I feel like this is what God sings to us. He longs for us to spend every waking moment with Him, but He is just so excited for who we are, that He just wants to keep us with Him regardless of what we are doing. He just wants to spend time with us. And I feel like He is working out different little ways to keep us with Him. I think He tells us this in a million ways everyday. His joy at our figuring ourselves and Him out. His excitement when we are growing and learning, and His willingness to love us regardless of where we are at. He loves the good and the bad, and I think it is a beautiful thing to realize just how excited He is just to spend time with us. I don’t know if I can say it enough because I sometimes struggle with truly, on the inside, deep in the core of my heart to know 100% God’s love for me and His joy with who He created me to be. Some days are better than others, actually weeks can go by where I don’t even question God’s love, then almost as if a switch is pulled, I start questioning it again. Maybe I’m strange, but I have always struggled with how God, who is perfect, all knowing, 100% aware of everything that I am and everything that I am not can love me. (I don’t usually question His love for others). I know that He died for me and you, but in the past, I have always worked for love. I have always taken it upon myself to work for and earn love. Therefore, the idea that Someone who knows everything about me could love me for absolutely no reason other than because He can and wants to is at times a hard concept for me to grasp. We worker bee types don’t just settle for something that is handed to us, we work for it, earn it, achieve it… and let me tell you we can achieve a lot, but we can’t “achieve” God’s love for us. He gives it freely, and while I accept that for everyone else, I often have a hard time accepting it for myself, but this song is just a little reminder for me of the fact that He wants to keep me here with Him. That just brings a smile to my face. :)

I’ve been back in Canada for about 2 weeks… maybe a little less right now. The first week I spent in Montreal at a YWAM conference with the director of YWAM I.Net and my base leader. The conference left a little to be wanting, but I enjoyed Montreal and the riots! If you haven’t heard about the Montreal riots, they were fun to watch from our hotel room balcony! It was truly memorable, and I don’t know if it is a good thing or a bad thing that all three of us were so excited about them, though our balcony was 7 floors up, far out of the reach of the fire crackers and all of that. I literally just got back onto the farm, and I feel like it has taken me a few days to get back into the swing of things. However, I’m finding that a few things have changed since I’ve been gone, and I don’t necessarily like it. (I feel like God is also asking me to learn how to let go of certain things, and I’m not sure I like that either!) It is always a good reminder that God isn’t finished with me yet. 

Overall, I’m glad that I went back to Minnesota. Seriously, it is nice to have more than 5 shirts and 2 pairs of jeans! Options are a great thing! Like I said in the previous post, there were some great things that happened and some things that I learned that I am still processing through, and that is okay, though I can’t say I’ve even started. That unpacking will happen eventually, I can guarantee. Still, I just want to send a brief thank you to all of you who I spent time with and a promise to those I didn’t get a chance to see that I will see you next time! Sorry that we didn’t get a chance to see each other! Thanks again!

My Thoughts...

Today, I’m making you listen to a song…

Just read over the chorus for me: 

"I know what I know what I know
We've got a long way to go
But I'm trying, I'm trying I'm trying, I'm trying
To win you when you are around
Go ahead pick my heart up off the ground
If it looks nice in your hands, I've got no other plans"

This song just reminds me that I am always first and foremost a work in progress, and while at times, it is easy for me to be hard on myself. I find this song completely comforting. It is okay to have a long way to go, and God will handle those details. At the end of the day, He is holding my heart in His hands, and that means, I have nothing to worry about. It means that I can sit back, relax (I’m not any good at relaxing), and just let Him do all the work, take the lead and follow Him in everything that I do (also something that I’m not very good at). But the fact that He is even there means that He is doing all the work, and that is very comforting to me.

As most of you know by now, I am back in my hometown meeting with friends, family, acquaintances, and past coworkers… sometimes it is fun, other times it has been rather painful to see people that have never known me. However, I can say that every conversation I have had only makes me feel at peace.

For those who don’t know, I came back with a twofold purpose, the first being to see old friends and let them know my current plan of staying with Youth With A Mission (YWAM). My second plan is to fundraise support for my missions work with YWAM. I guess I would rather focus on the first purpose for now, though I do need the financial support.

I’ve only been here a week, and I’ve already had some good conversations about who I am right now and who I want to become, but I’ve also been learning to listen to those around me and really focus on them for the little amount of time that I get with them. Sometimes, God only gives us small windows of opportunity, and if we do not take them, we miss an opportunity to be ourselves and honor Him in what we do. Listening, I am learning, is almost a skill. I always notice it most when I am sitting with people who really listen to me. You know those people who almost seem to hang on your every word and just make you feel heard. Then, they respond to what you say. I’m not sure if it is a lifelong calling or an actual desire, but because I know how good it feels to be heard, I want to offer that to those around me as well. It is hard though because I know that most people don’t always SAY what is really bugging them. I don’t. It’s scary to be that vulnerable, but I think everyone wants to be heard. We want the meaning behind our words to come out, but it is hard when no one listens. So, I want to thank all of you who listen out there, to me or others, in whatever form it takes… and yes, I consider you reading this a form of listening… J

What's Next for Me?

I think my fellow DTSers would have to agree that DTS changes you. You go through a 5 month intense process of learning who God is, who He is to you, and what He has for you. You come out the other side a different person, and what’s worse, you never want to be the same. You see just a fraction of God’s love for you and this world that you can’t help but be changed. I hope forever.

For me this change has caused me to reevaluate how I want to live and where.  More than anything, I want to listen to God’s will for me and hear Him speak directly into my life as to what it is that He wants for me. It is really easy for me to do what I want and say that it is God’s will, but there is so much more satisfaction in knowing that God is leading me forward. More often than not, I find that God is asking me to dive in headfirst and follow Him, and that is really hard! However, He always promises to lead me on (Eze. 47).

After DTS ended, I felt like God asked me to extend my time with YWAMi.net by working as a staff member here in Canada. This means, I am living in a charity house, which is a charity that offers people in crisis a safe place to stay, off the streets. In addition, the man and woman who run the charity believe it is important for these people to receive God’s love and the option of seeking a new way of life. In addition to their charity, they are choosing to take over YWAM DTS’s in this area, and we will be working to start our next DTS in March 2013, along with several other local outreaches, such as a teen drop in center, a youth group that will give teens the opportunity to be real and get to know God in a personal way, hosting community nights in coffee shops, getting involved in local churches, advertising DTS, and participating in everyday life here on the Farm. We will also be doing some fundraisers over the next few months.

The Farm

The three of us DTSers who have stayed on with YWAMi.net. We have a lot of fun together!

We are only just starting our work up here, but I ask that you pray for the Farm, upcoming DTS, and me. I will be coming back to Minnesota in April, and would love to see all of you while I am there because I don’t know when I will be home after April. Please send me an email, comment, or facebook me, and I would love to spend some time with you.

Thank you so much for your prayers during DTS, and for continuing to pray for me. I don’t think words can describe how grateful I am at your continuing to cover me in your prayers.

Tokyo and Phuket

Tokyo Christmas Party :) We didn't know how many people to expect, but we ended up with 50+ people :)

I’m going to assume that many of you are just a little curious about my time in Tokyo and Phuket, Thailand, mostly because I would be if I were on the opposite side of things. I have so many stories and things that I’ve learned that I feel like I’m still discovering them. The Lord is so active in this world that it is undeniable, and it is easy to look out the window and see the little ways that He is working, even if it is in the small smile of a Japanese man or woman on the street or in the rescue of a Thai woman from the sex trade. The Lord is working. He is active, and He loves each and every one of us so deeply that He can’t help but show that in the smallest ways everyday, as I am discovering.

Hiro and Myumi's Decision Cafe and Japanese Christians (aka Christians make up less than 1% of the total population of Japan)

I think the hardest lesson for me was learning how to love and how to receive love, no strings attached. I have spent much of my life working for God’s (and everyone else’s love), so the new and freeing concept that God and my fellow DTSers could love me no strings attached was hard to move from my head to my heart. I know that God loves me, He sacrificed His Son for me…. No greater love than that, right? But for someone who has spent most of her life working for love, it is a hard habit to break and even harder to move into her heart. However, I was forced to question how I was supposed to love like God loves when I didn’t even fully accept His love in my own life. It struck me that I was being asked to love complete strangers in both Japan and Thailand, and I couldn’t possibly offer them something that I didn’t even have.

Myumi and Me :)

I feel like God took me on a journey to discovering His love for me and in turn, discovering His love for both the Japanese and Thais. He did this in a lot of ways, but the main way He did this is through my team members and the local missionaries in both locations. Looking back at the place that I was at prior to DTS and seeing where I am now, I realize how much God must have loved me in order to bring me to DTS and truly rescuing me. God saved me through DTS.  He brought people into my life who love me and know me. In some ways, I feel like I have watched my team members show me God’s love. They have shown me time and again that love really pushes through the good and bad, it isn’t judgmental or condemning, it doesn’t ask how much you give, but asks how much will you receive, and it is there when no one else is. In a lot of ways, I am still discovering God’s love for me and others, but I beginning to understand that God is huge, and even if I were the only one still on the planet, He would have still made the world exactly the same. He has opened my ears and heart to all He has to offer me, and I’m excited to see what He has coming next for me…

* There is much more to tell, but that will come in time… 

The adorable Essie and I!!

Thai's paying homage at a local shrine. "To be Thai is to be Buddhist" is a common belief amongst all Thais.

My roomie and Joe (Mongolian Missionary to Japan) making an appearance. Joe has the most amazing story. He and His family became very dear to our team.

Update: My DTS Family!!

Hello to all of my wonderful friends and family!! I haven't blogged in a very long time because as you know I just spent the last 2 months living in Tokyo, Japan, and Phuket, Thailand. And I think it is safe to say that the Love of God changes everything...though I feel like I'm still discovering it for myself. And I can honestly say that the Lord has shown Himself in a myriad of ways. I would love to pour out my heart as to the little and big things we did in Japan and Thailand, but in many ways, I am still processing both experiences. I'll work on getting a brief *fingers crossed* summary of my time spent in both countries as soon as possible. In the meantime, I would like to dedicate this post to my DTS family. I left Port Credit in December close to a couple of my fellow DTSers, but over the last few months, we have truly become a very strange family. We don't always get along, but even though miles and oceans separate many of us, I know I will never be the same because of their influence on me. I will never forget the late night talks, tears shared, prayer time, long walks, and worship (though not all of our worship times our held in my heart with fondness). We grew together, laughed much, and became family along the way. I miss each and every one of you with every fiber of my being, and I just pray that you are all doing well. I love you much!!

For those of you who don't know my team, you will probably get to know them a little. Here is a link to a video we made during our last week of DTS (also called Debrief week) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlezndUDrN8. It is a promo video for my DTS and shows a lot of great pictures from our time together. DTS truly does save you.

 Enjoy!!

 

We got very close in Tokyo....literally!!

 

 Our time of intercession...yes some of us are sleeping and others are actually praying, but as long as we were together, that was generally all that mattered ;)  (Kevin on guitar)

 My entire team on New Years Eve in Tokyo!! Such a good night with lots of fun and great stories :)  Okay, starting from the front left; Tabitha (white jacket), Marvin, Jessie B, Isaac, Me, Max; Second row on the left: Hayden, Olivia, Cat, Jess G, Anna, Kyungmi, Harcourt; third row on left: Mat,
Andrew (not actually a team member), Kevin, Wouter, and Steve!

 

Late night Ramen anyone?? We decided to go out for a typical Japanese meal of Ramen... 

Left to right: Jessie B, Matt (missionary of the local YWAM Japan base and our tour guide), Kyungmi, Cat, Kevin, Me, Marvin, Isaac, Harcourt, and Steve

 Christmas Eve in Tokyo, showing our wrapping paper stockings from our DTS staff...

Last day together... I love you much!

Back row left: Marvin, Isaac, Steve, Cat, Me; Front: Jessie B, Kevin, Kyungmi

To my family and friends, I promise I will post more pictures later! Also, feel free to check out just a fraction of the photos on facebook :)