My Thoughts...

Today, I’m making you listen to a song…

Just read over the chorus for me: 

"I know what I know what I know
We've got a long way to go
But I'm trying, I'm trying I'm trying, I'm trying
To win you when you are around
Go ahead pick my heart up off the ground
If it looks nice in your hands, I've got no other plans"

This song just reminds me that I am always first and foremost a work in progress, and while at times, it is easy for me to be hard on myself. I find this song completely comforting. It is okay to have a long way to go, and God will handle those details. At the end of the day, He is holding my heart in His hands, and that means, I have nothing to worry about. It means that I can sit back, relax (I’m not any good at relaxing), and just let Him do all the work, take the lead and follow Him in everything that I do (also something that I’m not very good at). But the fact that He is even there means that He is doing all the work, and that is very comforting to me.

As most of you know by now, I am back in my hometown meeting with friends, family, acquaintances, and past coworkers… sometimes it is fun, other times it has been rather painful to see people that have never known me. However, I can say that every conversation I have had only makes me feel at peace.

For those who don’t know, I came back with a twofold purpose, the first being to see old friends and let them know my current plan of staying with Youth With A Mission (YWAM). My second plan is to fundraise support for my missions work with YWAM. I guess I would rather focus on the first purpose for now, though I do need the financial support.

I’ve only been here a week, and I’ve already had some good conversations about who I am right now and who I want to become, but I’ve also been learning to listen to those around me and really focus on them for the little amount of time that I get with them. Sometimes, God only gives us small windows of opportunity, and if we do not take them, we miss an opportunity to be ourselves and honor Him in what we do. Listening, I am learning, is almost a skill. I always notice it most when I am sitting with people who really listen to me. You know those people who almost seem to hang on your every word and just make you feel heard. Then, they respond to what you say. I’m not sure if it is a lifelong calling or an actual desire, but because I know how good it feels to be heard, I want to offer that to those around me as well. It is hard though because I know that most people don’t always SAY what is really bugging them. I don’t. It’s scary to be that vulnerable, but I think everyone wants to be heard. We want the meaning behind our words to come out, but it is hard when no one listens. So, I want to thank all of you who listen out there, to me or others, in whatever form it takes… and yes, I consider you reading this a form of listening… J