Am I willing to let Him have it all? Am I willing to stop holding back?
I have been feeling God ask me to let go of everything. Let go of my control over my life (what little there really is). To let go of my life. My future. My past. My dreams. My hopes. And my fears. Letting go of what I want, of people, and of the expectation that I will get any type of reward whether in this world or the next for anything that I am doing.
I have been learning that this life of mine isn't actually mine.
The other day a friend told me that she has the next six years of her life planned. Two years ago, that would have been me, with a plan, and sticking to it. Now, I don't even know where I'll be living in two months, much less what I'll be doing in eight months.
It's hard. It's tough. I really like making plans. I like knowing what to expect. I like that consistency, that stability. I like feeling like I have some control over my life. And I like believing that I don't have to give anything up for a life dedicated to Jesus.
I am learning, though, that I have to give that up as well. My comfort isn't God's concern, and it shouldn't be mine. I am finding that I let so many things stop me from being all that God made me. From being the person that He created me to be.
And for what? For what others think about me. For the fear of the unknown and judgement from others. The reality is, only two people's opinion of me matters, that is God and me.
I have tasted the freedom of Christ.
So I have to let go.
And let God have it all.
